What I do when I'm sick

Lately I've been sick as hell, and what that usually means for me is that I lay down with kleenex's stuffed in my nose, vaseline smothering my nose and moustache, and watch some ridiculously useless programs on tv. The last couple days TSN and what not have been playing what seems to be an endless amount of curling matches. What's weird is, right now all the players are girls and holy shit, they scream like crazy. What's even crazier is the shit the yell:

- "HARDER HARDER HAAARDDDERRR ALREADY!"
- "slllllllowww sloooooow, HALFWAY HARDER HARDER."
- and even "COME ONE COME ON HARDER PUSH IT PUSH IT".

I don;t think there is any way in hell that anyone could go past a whole match of women's curling without at least giggling a few times.

At this rate, I'll always be a virgin.

So today, on Saturday February 17, 2007, I went to work out at the Y. Coincidentally the Edmonton Rush's dance/cheer team (otherwise known as the Edmonton "Crush") were in the gymnasium playing with a bunch of kids. Let's just say, some were aight, but others stood out like a boner at a nude beach. There were several immensely hot dancers equipped in their lululemon-type spandex pants that just curled around their bums. Never have I been so aroused at the gym or have I seen so many perfectly symmetrical and round asses in one place.

But what did I look like you might ask? Before I went to the Y, I had packed a Spider-Man tshirt 3 sizes too small, and a pair of black short shorts. Could I have looked any faggier? Fuck, I probably looked like a child pedophile to them.

Sigh, I missed my chance.